Finding Christmas
by Malcolm Yuy
Summary: I think...you were my meaning all along...[Namixas, AU]


A.N: Hello everyone!!! I'm a new writer to this forum…originally I was going to publish this oneshot _after _publishing another fic, but with Christmas drawing near and everything, it looks like that will have to wait. I'm releasing this fic with a Sokai companion, **Christmas With Love**, so read it if that KH couple interests you.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Kingdom Hearts series. It's owned by Disney/Square-Enix…although, if I did, I would have made Kingdom Hearts II darker like the "Another Side, Another Story" video…

_Italics: _Thoughts, and or flashbacks. You'll be able to distinguish between the two, hopefully.

Well, I hope you enjoy this fic. Allons-y!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------

"**Finding Christmas"**

**By**

**Malcolm Yuy**

----------------------------

Overcast skies blanked the buildings and woodlands of Twilight Town. Snow sprinkled the air as the citizens hurried to and fro. Bells could be heard in the distance, and smiles could be seen on people's faces if one walked by…

Yet, for one of the town's denizens, Roxas Akari, something was amiss.

And he didn't like it one bit.

Roxas was currently at the age of sixteen. He had lived in Twilight Town ever since he and his family had moved from Destiny Islands about three years ago, at the zenith of his thirteenth year, right before he turned fourteen, and also right before he began high school. It was here that he had made friends. Best friends, terms that he didn't have for anyone back home, unlike his brother, who had two- a silver-haired, aqua-eyed boy by the name of Riku, and an auburn-haired, violet-blue eyed girl by the name of Kairi. And every time they would visit them, Roxas would tease poor Sora about the relationship the light-haired brunet held with his female friend, who at every instance, would deny that he felt anything more than friendship towards the red-haired young woman.

Well, things were different now.

Roxas frowned as he made his way through downtown Twilight Town, and stopped as he glanced at his reflection. Spiky blond hair, and dark blue eyes, dark as the sea looked back at him. He also took a glance at his attire. At the time, he was wearing a white turtleneck sweater with a thin, black winter jacket wrapped around it, and a navy blue scarf to hide the neck of his sweater. He also wore some brown khakis, and lastly, to cover his feet, he wore his usual white skater shoes. He scoffed at his reflection.

_What's wrong with me? _He thought, as he finally turned away. _I should be on my way to that party. _Roxas had been invited, by one of his friends of course, to a party on Christmas Eve, where several of his other friends would be gathered. Out of all the people attending, Roxas was expecting to see Hayner, Pence, Olette (who was the hostess), his best friend Axel, and his girlfriend, Larxene. Now originally, Roxas would be going with Sora…

However, things changed obviously as the blond was now spending his time walking along the streets. Roxas felt depressed as he continued making his way along Twilight Lane. He stopped again as he glanced into a window at a nearby house. There, in the living room, was a young couple, wearing warm clothing and sitting by the fire, snuggled against each other for warmth, with a Christmas tree nearby. Roxas hesitated as he continued to ponder his predicament.

_Why can't I seem to be happy at this time of the year? It's Christmas for crying out loud! _Roxas exclaimed to himself. Apparently, what Roxas was struggling with, was what most people struggle with as they grow older during this time.

The meaning of Christmas.

Or, at least, Roxas's meaning of Christmas. He remembered how when he was a child, he would always look eager to the happy event, to singing Christmas carols with his family, and sipping some hot chocolate by the fireside, as well as watching those fabled Christmas classics on the télé. Oh, how happy the blond was at Christmas time.

But now, with the passing of time, Roxas felt empty. And as he continued staring at the happy couple through the window, he finally realized that it was his meaning that he was missing.

_Well, now I know why I'm not that enthusiastic about Christmas this year. But maybe that's not all…_ Roxas continued thinking more about the situation. Maybe he wasn't the only one that had lost his meaning. After all, Christmas only comes once a year, and through all the shuffle and bustle, maybe he didn't have the time to celebrate the joyous holiday?

_That may be the other reason why I'm not that eager this year, _Roxas thought to himself. Now that he thought about it, mostly everyone around him had _someone _to celebrate Noël with, and what he meant by that word was having a loved one to celebrate with. Sure, Roxas had his brother and his parents, but it wasn't the same. Hayner, his brown-eyed, blond-haired amigo had Olette. His best friend, Axel, had Larxene. And he was fairly certain that Kairi held feelings for his hopeless person of a brother. However he…

He didn't have a loved one. But he did have someone he admired…

"Roxas?" Roxas turned his head. He already knew where that voice came from, how did he not? It came from the one girl he admired (at least during this particular time in his young life)…

Naminé Herutsu.

Now, Roxas had admired Naminé ever since he stepped foot in Twilight High. Yet, in his first year of high school, he didn't know a thing about her, not even her name. He just admired her from a far, until one day during their sophomore year, when they winded up sharing History class together. Roxas could remember how nervous he was, when he saw her enter the classroom. He became even more so when she sat in the empty seat besides him. She turned to him, smiling as she spoke to him.

"_Hello. I believe I haven't seen you around here before. My name is Naminé Herutsu. What's yours?" _

"_Um, Roxas. Roxas Akari. It's nice to meet you, Naminé," Roxas said, a small smile forming upon his face as he extended a hand. She smiled as she lightly shook his hand._

"_And you too Roxas. I hope we'll be good friends," Naminé replied._

"_Me too Naminé, me too…"_

And good friends they had become. Over the past two years they had known each other, there had been no one that had made Roxas feel more…pleasant. The more time he spent around the blonde, the more he wanted to know about her. And now, here they were, talking to one another as dusk began filtering its way through the town. Roxas took a moment look over the girl he oh-so-wanted to confess to.

She was smiling at him, her blonde hair shining as it swayed to the side. Like him, she wore a winter jacket and turtleneck. However, both were white. She wore a scarf as well, yet, unlike Roxas's navy blue, hers was pink. She wore blue jeans, and regular black boots. Roxas continued glancing at her for a few moments before she spoke again.

"Um, Roxas? Hellooo?" she waved her hand in front of him, snapping the male blond out of his daze. He laughed nervously as he looked away from the girl he secretly loved.

"Uh, sorry Naminé…I was just.." Roxas trailed off uncomfortably as he suddenly found the sidewalk more interesting.

"Just what?.." Naminé then turned to look at what her blond companion was eyeing earlier. A hint of a frown appeared on her face as her blue orbs dimmed. "Oh, I see…" Her statement made Roxas look up at her.

"Huh?" He questioned. Naminé just shook her head in response.

"No, it's nothing…" She then placed her hands on her hips as she tried her best to pull off a glare at the young boy. "Now, don't you have somewhere to be?.." she asked. A smirk crawled onto Roxas's face as he mimicked Naminé's actions.

"Don't you have somewhere to be as well?.." he inquired, raising one eyebrow at her. Naminé couldn't keep face as she laughed at his expression. She socked him in the side.

"Yes, and I would still be there if I hadn't had to go out looking for _you_," she replied, almost venomously. Roxas countered with a quick rebuttal.

"Gee, I'm sorry _you_ had to waste your precious time to go looking for _me_. What ever will I do?.."

"Oh, shut it you…" Naminé swat him again as the two shared a laugh. They continued laughing for a few moments, before it finally quieted down. Naminé pressed her two index fingers together as she looked away from her friend. "So Roxas, what's the real reason you didn't show up?.." Roxas's face faltered as he saw the look upon the young woman's face.

"I'm sorry I didn't come on time Naminé, really I am. I was going to show up though, believe it or not. It's just that…" he turned away briefly to look back at the house, and then said, "I needed some time to myself, that's all. I've been having a rough time this holiday season." Naminé looked up to make eye contact with him.

"Too rough to spend with your friends?! Roxas, you should know that you can tell us anything. Can you imagine how Axel and Sora reacted when _they _found out that you _still _weren't at the party?" _With me as well…_

"I could imagine. Look, I said I was sorry," Roxas stated. Naminé just crossed her arms, looking away from him. He sighed irritably. He then turned away to again look back at the house.

"So, you want to know why I was really out here? It's because I don't have the Christmas spirit this year," Roxas uttered. Naminé turned, shocked as she looked back at him.

"And why would that be?"

"I, I don't really know. It's just that, Christmas has lost its meaning for me…" Roxas responded, as he now turned to face the blonde beauty. A slight pink traced its way onto his face as he continued talking. "I remember, being a child, looking so eager to open Christmas presents, and singing Christmas carols…and now, well…I just don't feel anything," Roxas frowned.

"Well, maybe, you need to find a new meaning for Christmas," Naminé suggested.

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked. Now he was the one puzzled. Naminé just shook her head.

"What I mean is, that when you're a child, Christmas was about looking forward to presents…but now that you're older, your meaning changed. The same thing that made you love Christmas before isn't the same as time passes. You're older Roxas, and you're more mature then you were before. And with you standing here, I think you already know…" Naminé trailed off.

"Know what?"

"What you want your meaning to be," Naminé stated, as she turned to glance back at the house. Roxas blushed as he followed her eyes with his. Naminé then turned her attention towards him. "That's what you want, isn't it? You want to spend Christmas with someone you love," she speculated. Roxas then rotated his head to meet her gaze.

"It scares me, you know? How you can read me," Roxas said.

"I wouldn't be a very good friend if I couldn't," Naminé replied. "Is there anyone in particular you'd like to spend Christmas with?" she asked. Roxas flushed as he looked up towards the sky.

"Well, that is to say…I…yes," Roxas said, almost regretfully. Naminé frowned as she examined him. Seeing her blond companion down made her depressed, and she didn't like that. She wanted to get to the bottom of Roxas's dilemma, (and get him to the party) so, on she continued.

"And who would that be?..."

Roxas blushed as he glanced at Naminé for a moment, before answering, "I, I can't tell you…" Naminé tilted her hand.

"Why? Is it someone already taken? Like Olette, or Kairi, that girl I always hear your brother chirping about?" she asked curiously. Roxas chuckled at her choice of words.

"I remember when you used to have that crush on him…"

"Yeah, and that was until he mentioned her. Anyway Roxas, you're getting off-subject. Why can't you just tell me? Aren't _I _one of your friends? Don't you trust me?" Naminé asked. Roxas sighed tiredly.

"Of course I trust you, Naminé. I'm just…afraid."

"Afraid, of what? Of being-" Naminé cut-off the rest of her question when Roxas looked at her. As she looked back at him, she began to see something within his azure orbs that she didn't see before. As soon as she realized what it was, she blushed as she put a hand over her mouth, as Roxas fidgeted where he stood.

"Oh, I see…" Roxas looked away, solemnly as he heard her statement.

"..Yeah. That's why..Look, Naminé, I understand if-" Roxas was now the one whose sentence was clipped abruptly as he suddenly felt someone hug him from out of nowhere. When he glanced back up, he was shocked to find Naminé's arms wrapped around him. The female blonde placed a finger against his lips, silencing him.

"You don't have to say anything, Roxas…" Naminé smiled, getting Roxas to return her with a smile of his own. Her smile spread even more when her eyes looked up above them. "Hey Roxas, look up."

"Huh?" Roxas looked up. From where he and Naminé were standing, a few, very skinny trees were situated behind them. And it just so happened that one of the tree's branches staggered over the blondes' heads. And, sitting at the end of that branch, was a bush of mistletoe, with a leave of it sticking out in particular. Roxas suddenly blushed as he looked back down to the blonde who he now was embracing, who was still wearing that smile. She giggled at his expression.

"Marry Christmas, Roxas..." and before he could get anything out, Naminé pressed her lips to Roxas's, giving him a soft, passionate kiss. Roxas felt warmth spread throughout his body as he couldn't help but smile, before returning her kiss. They stayed like that as snowflakes began to fall. A few moments later, they parted, and Roxas couldn't help but give Naminé the cheesy grin that he and his brother shared.

"I love you, Naminé," Roxas said. Naminé smiled, as a faint pink appeared on her cheeks. Roxas couldn't help but smirk at her reaction.

"I love you too, Roxas. Now, don't we have a party to get to?.." Naminé asked, grinning. Roxas nodded. "Then let's go." Naminé and Roxas then broke their embrace, and Naminé linked their arms. As she was about to begin walking, Roxas softly jerked her back into his arms.

"Hey, Naminé..."

"Yes Roxas?" she asked, her blue orbs looking straight at Roxas's. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she saw love filled within them, and Roxas saw the same reflecting within hers.

"I think…you were my meaning all along…"

- _Fin -_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I apologize if Roxas's statement at the end confuses you, but I hope you get what he was trying to say, and I hope you enjoyed reading this fic.

I got the idea for this when I was doing Christmas shopping. Ideas started coming, and I just envisioned what the two blondes would say. The scene at the end, in particular. The story basically revolved around that last quote, which I imagined as something Roxas would say. I knew then and there that I wanted that statement and the end. I hope it worked.

If you have any criticisms, please tell me. I'd like to do the best I can to improve my writing.

And, if you enjoyed it, please tell me too. Any support you give makes me motivated to write.

After I release this and my Sokai Christmas oneshot, I will be working on a multi-chapter Sokai, entitled **Portrait of a Young Woman**. It will be AU, and Sora will be the protagonist. It will alternate between first and third person, and from what I've been working on, I've been trying to make the two point of views bleed seamlessly so they can work together. We'll just see if it works, ne?

I also had plans to write a multi-chaptered Namixas as well, but my motivation towards it fell after trying to write the first chapter. So far, for that, I only have the prologue. I might just release the prologue to see if it might gauge anyone's interest. I have another idea for one, which would be a Humor/Romance…and, if **Portrait **does well, I **MIGHT **just write a companion Namixas to go along with it. No promises, though…

Well, until next I write, I hope you all enjoy these Winter Holidays, and I wish you all Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas. Until next time, later!!!

- _Malcolm Yuy_


End file.
